Scars
by Dawn M. Scally
Summary: Severitus Challenge. Set just after the death of Sirius Black, doesn't really follow HBP or DH. Contains mild violence and swears. Rated 17.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I did not create Harry Potter. I own nothing, except the stuff you don't recognize from the books.**

**Summary:My first ever attempt at a Severitus Challenge. Set just after the death of Sirius Black, doesn't really follow HBP or DH. Contains mild violence and swears. Rated 17.**

**A/N I am rewriting this fic, it previously had a lot of holes in the plot which made it difficult to write and I found it was a little to wordy. Essentially I didn't like the way it was going so Im changing it slightly. Im also in need of a BETA so please PM me.**

**Scars**

_**Chapter One:**_

_"Come on you can do better than that!" Sirius yelled his voice echoing around the cavernous room._

_The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest._

_The laughter had not quiet yet but his eyes widened in shock._

_As Harry ran down the stone steps again, pulling out his wand, heading toward the dais. Where it seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch._

_Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted, once handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place._

_Harry heard Bellatrix Lestrange's triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing – nothing. Sirius had only just fallen through the archway; he would reappear from the other side any second…_

_But Sirius did not reappear._

_"SIRIUS!" Harry yelled. "SIRIUS!"_

Hundreds of miles away from the Department of Mysteries, Harry Potter woke up with a start, screaming for his godfather.

Harry stopped crying out for Sirius when he heard his Uncle's fist banging on the wall. Eyes blank and staring at the sickly peach colour of Aunt Petunias choosing, fear was coursing through his veins as he silently prayed his uncle would turn over and go back to sleep. Harrys pounding heart began to calm as the minutes ticked by and he heard a loud distinctive snore that was most definitely issued from one very tiered Vernon Dursley.

Ever since the incident at Kings Cross station, whereby several members of the Order of the Phoenix had threatened Vernon Dursley, Harry's life living at number four privet drive had become near unbearable. Something he had never thought possible.

Harry forced himself up, and made his way over to the mirror attached to the door of his wardrobe. His emerald eyes shot to the fifteen year old scar, just visible underneath his jet black hair. Normally his hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions a classic Potter trait he had inherited from his father, now however cold sweat plastered it to his forehead.

Since Harry had returned from school he had sunk further and further into depression. It was as though something had broken in him. He was even contemplating not returning to the wizarding world in September.

He wished he could return to a time when he was safely locked in his cupboard and his biggest worry was the state his hair was in, after an evening of Aunt Petunia attacking it with scissors.

Harry smiled as he remembered his Aunts endless attempts to tame his hair. Suddenly anger licked his insides and burned in the back of his throat.

Harry brought his fist up and felt the glass shatter as it collided with his knuckles.

Slowly he slid down onto the floor where he buried his face in his hands. His heart aching with the pain, Sirius's death still fresh in his mind, like a knife piercing his chest he couldn't breathe, the guilt of showing some form of happiness smothered him.

Harry grabbed the pillow from his bed and broke down; he crushed his face against it in a hope to silence his sobs.

**A/N Please Review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I did not create Harry Potter. I own nothing, except the stuff you don't recognize from the books.**

**Summary:My first ever attempt at a Severitus Challenge. Set just after the death of Sirius Black, doesn't really follow HBP or DH. Contains mild violence and swears. Rated 17.**

**Scars**

_**Chapter Two:**_

Harry didn't know how much time had past, before he realized that he was being watched. The sun had risen and Harry saw its beams reflected in a large familiar amber eye.

Sitting on the window ledge was Hedwig, her eyes surveyed Harry as he got up and crossed the room to approach her. Harry had sent Hedwig off with a short note the day before to let the Order know he was ok and there was no need to worry.

This of course was far from the truth. Harry had deteriated a lot since his godfather's death. He didn't eat, barely slept and hadn't spoken to another human being in two weeks. His relatives weren't at all bothered about the subdued teen, even though the weight loss was so dramatic that he had had to pierce an extra two holes in his once well fitted belt to keep Dudley's old jeans from falling down.

Harry wouldn't have been able to eat even if he had wanted to. The Dursleys wouldn't cook him meals and wouldn't allow him to cook their food for himself. When he felt faint from the hunger he would have to resort to drinking tap water from the bathroom sink.

He lifted his hand to untie the letter that was attached to Hedwig's foot, and froze looking at his hand, which was bruised, bloody and very swollen. There was a piece of glass sticking out of his it, in between his knuckles.

Harry took the letter, gave Hedwig an owl treat and went to sit back down on the floor. Instead of opening the letter, he stared at his hand. Knowing if he left the piece of glass lodged beside his knuckle it would probably go septic, he set about trying to remove the oddly shaped glass.

Harry's eyes streamed with pain as he pulled the glass free but the pain in his hand seemed to ease the tightness in his heart.

That weight on his heart, he couldn't bear it any more, he placed his hand on the inside of the wardrobe and slammed the door closed on it. Harry stifled a scream, and with his other hand wiped his wet face before he got up and went to open his letter; his hand now clumsy and sore made it difficult for him to open the envelope.

After several minutes of shuffling he was able to pull out a very crumpled bit of parchment. It was a short note from Professor Dumbledore.

_**Harry,**_

_**Recent developments mean that several members of the order will be arriving at Privet Drive, within the hour. Please have your belongings ready to leave.**_

_**Professor Dumbledore**_

Harry looked down at his injured hand and felt sick. He was ashamed. What were his friends going to say when they saw it? Regretting hurting himself he began to pace around his room and put his things in his trunk.

It didn't take long for Harry to pack all his possessions. Soon he was fully packed, Hedwig sent off to the Burrow so he wouldn't have to carry her, and sat on his freshly made bed looking around the now immaculately clean room (excluding the shardes of glass that lay at the foot of his wardrobe). He was completely lost in thought when the pain in his chest began to return as he realized he was probably going to be taken back to Grimmauld Place.

Cold panic began to rise in Harry's throat and he resumed pacing the small room. 'What were his friends going to say when they saw him?' Harry knew he looked a state. He had dark shadows underneath his eyes and red raw sunburn on the back of his neck, nose and cheeks from spending hours outside perfecting Aunt Petunias front garden. His appearance was obviously going to lead to a lot of questions. Questions Harry just didn't want to answer. And then there was his bloody, swollen hand 'What was he going to say happened to it?' 'Should he leave now and dessert the wizarding world?'

Suddenly like a bolt of lighting, a thought struck Harry, he pulled opened his trunk, which was now jam  
>packed with his belongings; somewhere amongst them lay what he was looking for.<p>

Harry frantically searched his trunk for several minutes before pulling out a pair of gloves, they were just like goalkeepers gloves, except that they were much smaller.

These gloves were part of the Gryffindor Quidditch team's kit, the grips on the palms and fingers of the gloves helped the Quidditch players to grip their brooms, and they were especially good in rainy weather when the chance of slipping off your broom was increased.

Harry slipped the gloves on, they were red and had Gryffindor stamped across the knuckles in gold, underneath this they had a large number seven.

Harry, who was now rather pleased with himself for thinking of these gloves before anyone could catch a glimpse at his hand, which was now throbbing painfully, slowing shut his trunk and pulled it onto the upstairs landing, placing Hedwig's cage under his arm as he went.

Harry placed his trunk beside the front door and put Hedwig's empty age atop before crossing the threshold of the kitchen to the unwelcome smell of bacon and eggs.

"Some-" Harry croaked. His voice, weak and rasp from not using it in so long. "S Someone's coming to pick me up within the hour".

The Dursleys who were all sat at their kitchen table enjoying a full English. Didn't even acknowledge that Harry had spoken or even entered the room. With a small sigh Harry turned on his heal and went to sit beside his trunk at the front door.

"Ah" Harry hissed in pain as his Uncles foot collided with his calf. He opened his eyes and saw the older man regain his balance after his near fall.

'Shit' Harry thought. 'I must have fallen asleep'.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY IT BOY! LAYING IN THE HALL SO THAT I'LL INJURE MYSELF!" Vernon Dursleys face turned a deep scarlet as he raged.  
>"STAND UP STRAIGHT WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU!" He pulled Harry to his feet by the scruff of his neck.<p>

"YOU UNGREATFUL BRAT, I COULD HAVE BROKEN MY NECK!" Vernon Dursley released his nephew with such force that Harry fell backwards and hit the side of his head against the wall.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEAVING WITHIN THE HOUR YOU LITTLE LIAR, IT'S BEEN OVER FOUR AND YOUR DEPRESSING PRESENCE IS STILL IN MY HOUSE"

Harry heard several distinctive pops from outside as his uncle took a breath and stepped towards Harry.

"YOU'RE POISON, A WORTHLESS PIECE OF FILTH! WHO WILL AMOUNT TO ABSOLUTLY NOTHING-"

His Uncles mouth was still moving as he continued his silent rage when a cold hard voice rang though number four.

"Enough"

Blood dripping into his vision Harry squinted in the direction the voice had came from trying to distinguish to whom the voice belonged.

A figure approached Harry, roughly pushing Vernon Dursley aside who was frozen in shock.

"H Harry?" The figure spoke in a much softer tone than before, now the voice was filled with uncertainty but this time Harry recognised the man stood in front of him.

"Remus" He croaked.

"Oh Merlin, What have they done to you?" Remus Lupin whispered as he pulled his best friends son into a protective embrace. The boy was damn nearly unrecognisable skinnier than usual, sunburnt and tiered looking. Blood was dripping from just above Harry's eyebrow into his right eye.

After releasing Harry Remus turned toward Vernon Dursley and said in a harsh whisper "You've got a lot of explaining to do Dursley" Before some of the others who had entered the house dragged the still silent Vernon Dursley into his front room. It was the first time Harry had sensed the wolf in his old professor.

"Here you go Harry" Remus' voice softened again as he handed Harry his glasses, which had fallen to the floor.

Lupin held out his hand and shook Harrys. Harry winced slightly.

"How are you?" he asked looking closely at Harry.

"F-fine…"

"You are not fine, what have they done to you? Why didn't you mention anything in your letters?"

"I am. Nothing. Can we leave now?" Harry answered staring at the wall behind Lupin.

Lupin sighed, "We'll talk about this later then k?"

Harry nodded stiffly silently chanting that there was nothing at all to talk about later.

"Right, well first I have to talk to your relatives you can wait here if you want."

Again Harry merely nodded and Lupin made his way into the living room glancing back only once at the teen with concern and worry etched into his features.

Several minutes passed and Harry heard mumbled voices from the living room growing louder and louder, however his brain couldn't contemplate what was being said.

After what seemed like hours but what was in actual fact only fifteen minutes Harry decided to find out what was taking so long.

He crossed the threshold of the living room and into a stony silence; the Durley's were sitting of the edge of their brand new three-piece suit, looking horrified at the company present in their front room, Vernon Dursley looking frightened after whatever threat he had just received from these strangely dressed men.

Harry raised a clenched fist to his mouth gasping slightly with the pain, cleared his throat to announce his presence. Immediately Remus Lupin who was stood in the middle of the room with his back to the door and had begun talking very quickly with urgency in his voice to Harry's relative's, turned and smiled at his best friends son.

Harry gave Remus a curt nod, saying nothing before diverting his eyes and searching the room for more familiar faces. Indeed there were many, Mad-Eye Moody, Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Elphias Doge, stood by the window. Sturgis Podmore Dedalus Diggle, Emmeline Vance, Hestia Jones were all gazing curiously at the Dursleys stereo, which had been turned down instead of off and so was emitting a long high pitched beep.

In fact, everyone who had collected Harry from number four last year was here, including an additional member who had his back to Harry and was staring at the fireplace.

Harry let his hand drop to his side and again looked around the room now very conscious that everyone was staring at him except for the figure that stood in front of the fireplace.

"Erm…so when are we leaving?" Harry said to no one in particular.

"Soon. Not just yet though we have a few things to explain to you and your relatives."

With a casual flick of his wand Lupin conjured up enough chairs for everyone who was standing and motioned for them to sit down.

After they had all sat down Lupin paced the floor in the middle of the room while he thought. He looked up at Harry sighed, looked away and began pacing once again.

It seemed to Harry that he was trying to arrange his thoughts correctly before speaking.  
>Finally after what seemed an age he slowly turned and faced the Durley's. Harry could now only see a sliver of his face.<p>

"Uh hmm" Lupin cleared his throat before continuing.

"Knowing Harry as I do, I am presuming he has not told you of the events that occurred at the beginning of last month. I won't go into too much detail but there was an incident, which resulted in your nephew facing lord Voldemort's followers once again." Lupin paused "This encounter led to the murder of, Harry's godfather, … Sirius Black".

Harry's eyes met Lupins and was shocked to see them bloodshot; suddenly Lupins face blurred and Harry removed his gaze from him and stared into the fire whilst clutching his sore hand. Ashamed of how weak he was. Again the pain in his hand was a release on the ache in his heart.

Harry wished someone would turn off the stereo the constant beep was hurting his head, as he continued to stare into the fireplace as if hypnotized by the beauty of the flickering flames, forgetting the Dursleys were there. This was probably a good thing as it meant he missed the twinkle of glee that entered his Uncle's eyes, upon hearing of Sirius' passing.

"Harry!"

His head snapped up as Lupin directly addressed him.

"Sirius' Will was read earlier this week, he has left everything to you, the Black family fortune, all of his possessions, Grimauld place and unfortunately Kretcher."

Harry merely nodded as he digested this last gesture of generosity given to him by his godfather.

"Ok, well now that all has been explained we shall be going" Lupin threw a sharp look at the Dursleys before gesturing to the rest of the room to leave.

Once the room had cleared Lupin pulled out a teacup and set it on the coffee table.

"The guard are our diversion, some are going to fly to a destination and then apparate home, others will apparate from here, and a few are going to floo to a destination hence the fire. The confusion should hopefully prevent anyone knowing where you are being taken. We on the other hand are going to take this portkey." Lupin explained to Harry, before he turned to Vernon Dursley. "I'll be paying you a visit soon Dursley".

Harry muttered an almost incoherent goodbye to his relatives before placing his index finger upon the cup, not caring where he was going he felt the familiar jerking sensation as the portkey was activated.

**A/N Please review **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I did not create Harry Potter. I own nothing, except the stuff you don't recognize from the books.**

**Summary:My first ever attempt at a Severitus Challenge. Set just after the death of Sirius Black, doesn't really follow HBP or DH. Contains mild violence and swears. Rated 17.**

**Scars**

_**Chapter Three:**_

Harry felt Lupins hand on his elbow steady him as he landed, and looked up to see that they were stood in front of Number 12 Grimauld Place.

Anger licked his insides, his green eyes narrowed, and he turned he head sharply to face Lupin.

Who incidentally was looking at him with an apprehensive look on his face, as if Harry were a time bomb about to explode, and he had to decide which wire to cut. Blue? Red? Green? Yellow?

Too late the explosion came.

"NO" Harrys voice was suddenly loud and strong.

"Harry Listen"

But Harry just shrugged his arm from Lupins grip and screamed.

"NO. YOU LISTEN! HOW DARE YOU BRING ME BACK HERE, THIS PLACE WAS HIS PRISON CELL.'-Lights in neighboring houses flickered on and a few net curtains were twitching but Harry continued to roar.

"HE HATED LIVING HERE, HE DIDN'T HAVE A SINGLE HAPPY MEMORY OF THIS HOUSE AND YOU ALLOWED DUMBLEDORE TO IMPRISON HIM HERE! THE LAST FEW MONTHS OF HIS LIFE WERE FILLED WITH THE MISERY HE HAD TO ENDURE IN CHILDHOOD!"

Harry looked as though he was going to collapse. Beads of sweat were rolling down his forehead because of the sheer effort it was taking to scream.

"Harry-" Lupin moved towards the boy concerned.

"MY FAMILY HELPED HIM ESCAPE THAT MISERY, THE CRUELTY HE HAD TO PUT UP WITH! MY FATHER DID IT BECAUSE HE LOVED SIRIUS AS A BROTHER. BUT YOU! YOU STAND BY AND ALLOW DUMBLEDORE TO IMPRISON HIM HERE! JUST LIKE YOU ALLOWED THE MINISTRY TO IMPRISON HIM IN AZKABAN. CALL YOURSELF A FRIEN-"

Harry's mouth continued to open and close in his rage, however no sound escaped his lips. Remus Lupin had placed a silencing spell on his best friends son and was now looking at him through blood shot eyes, completely livid.

"Get. Inside. The. House. _Now_." Lupin uttered in a deadly whisper, opening the gate for Harry, hands shaking uncontrollably, he was so mad.

Harry stared at him for a second, before storming up to the front door and banging on it until a very confused Auror he did not know the name of opened the door to let them in.

Once inside Harry turned to Lupin who lifted the silencio spell.

"Never. Talk. To. Me. Again. And you can tell everyone else the same, I want to never communicate with any of you and that includes Ron and Hermione." Harry said forcing his voice to calm, before he turned swiftly on his heal and made his way upstairs.

Harry awoke in the early hours in his godfather's room. He immediately got out of bed and walked over to the window. Unbeknownst to him, he was mirroring the behaviour of Sirius Black in the months before his death. He took a deep breath as the cool breeze hit his face waking him. And watched London's skyline as the sun was rising. There was no denying it was beautiful. The sky turning slowly from purple to orange.

"Ahem" This small cough led Harry to break his gaze and turn around to face the room. His eyes scanned the space before him for some evidence as to where the sound had came from. The room was a simple one it reminded him of his own at the Dursleys except it was bigger and the décor slightly grander. The contents however were the same merely a bed, desk and wardrobe his godfather like himself did not want to make the cell feel like home. He located the source of noise and as he had suspected, it was Phineas Nigellus in the portrait on the wall opposite where Harry stood.

"Good morning"

Harry merely nodded in response.

"Not very chatty today are we? Not like the last time I saw you, you weren't too shy on that memorable occasion, very vocal in fact-"

"Is there any particular reason you're here?" Harry snapped turning away from the portrait to resume looking out of the window except this time he wasn't actually seeing the view of London waking up he was too busy concentrating on not losing his temper.

"There is absolutely no need to be rude! Yes there does happen to be a reason I am here, would I come to see you of my own accord? Professor Dumbledore has given me the privilege of informing you, that unfortunately the Weasley children, and Miss Granger will be unable to come to 12 grimauld place for the remainder of the holidays. Also that he believes it unwise for you to travel to Diagon alley to collect your school things, so he has had a member of the Order do it for you, along with some gold from your account, these should be waiting in the kitchen for you at breakfast."

"Am I going to be informed exactly why my friends won't be coming here?"

"No, its only for two months for Merlin sake boy, you'll see them when you return to school. Now ive had quite enough of dealing with moody adolescence for one day. Good day to you." And with that he left an empty canvas before Harry.

"Whatever. I didn't want to see them anyway." He muttered to the canvas. _"Good day to you"_ he mimicked, "yea right'. Before kicking his trunk in frustration, he was incredibly bored all of a sudden. But didn't feel like going downstairs. It was much too early for breakfast and the longer he put off seeing Remus the better.

He felt ashamed at what he had said to Remus, but was still angry at being forced to return to the place that tormented his godfather.

This house for Sirius was like Number Four Privet Drive for Harry. And now he owned it. He wanted to rip it down in memory of his beloved godfather but the rational part of his brain destroyed this thought by reminding him it was headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix and so had to serve a greater purpose. But one day, he vowed he would burn it to the ground.

Harry walked over to Sirius' wardrobe and opened it. There at the bottom sat a tin box. Carefully he picked it up with his uninjured hand and opened it. It was full of photographs, and old newspaper cuttings. Harry started to rummage through the photographs finding many of the marauders, all four of them happily smiling up at him in various corridors of Hogwarts castle, he scowled at the traitor amongst them. There was his father and godfather laughing at Remus who was covered head to foot in goo. Pettigrew in the background sniggering behind a pudgy hand.

There was him as a baby, sitting on his father's shoulders squealing with delight his dads hair clutched in his small fists, and his father grinning up at the camera whilst firmly holding onto his ankles.

A distant slam of the front door made Harry jump and the contents of the tin fall to the floor. Quickly trying to gather them up he noticed an envelope buried underneath some of the old photographs.

Harry pulled out the envelope. It was sealed and address to Severus Snape. 'What was a letter addressed to Snape doing in 12 Grimauld Place? _In Sirius' bedroom?'_

Harry scrambled to his feet and debated with himself for less than a millisecond before opening the letter and scanning the bottom to see if it was Sirius who intended to send it or if he had intercepted it. What he saw made his heart jump with excitement.

"Yours Always Lily Evans."

The 'Yours Always' was a bit worrying, but his mother. His mother had written this letter. Had been the last person to see this ink on parchment. This was solid proof that his mother had lived. This wasn't a distant memory but actual proof that Lily Evans was once on this earth and wrote letters.

Harry realised that she made her 'g's the same way he did. Each one was like a little friendly hello waving at him from the parchment. He made his was over to the desk chair and began to read.

_**Dearest Severus,**_

_**I know your angry with me but please read all of this letter. As I sit here writing this, in a dark corner of the leaky cauldron I can see you sitting by the fireplace. I came here tonight with the intention of speaking with you but I know that look on your face, you look angry, scowling at anyone who approaches you or even looks in your direction. Your worried about something, I wish you would let me talk to you so that I could help you with whatever your worried about sev, but I know as soon as you see me you'll storm off, robes billowing after you, breaking my heart into even smaller pieces. Times running out and there's something I have to tell you and I have to explain what happened but more importantly what didn't happen. So Ive decided to write it down so you can read it in your own time.**_

_**That night when you walked in on what must have looked like James and I kissing, wasn't. I was set up. I received a note in the morning from you agreeing to meet me, I had something to tell you and still do. When I got there I waited an hour and you didn't show. As I was leaving James came into the coffee shop and since I hadn't seen him all summer I decided to have a coffee with him whilst I gave you another half hour.**_

_**He was acting strange. Even stranger than usual. He was nervous and kept flattening his hair and checking his reflection in his spoon. Then he just pounced on me. I was so shocked and tried to push him away but he was to strong, and then you pulled him off of me and punched him in the jaw. I was so relieved to see you. I felt safe. But then you looked at me as though I was nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of your shoe and stormed off.**_

_**You've refused to speak to me since and it's now been nearly 7 months, I still love you Sev. My hearts broken and you're the only one who can mend it.**_

_**Ive found out since that night that James was drinking in the three broomsticks, before he decided to go get a coffee to try and sober up. Someone somehow spiked his drink with love potion. Someone wanted to split us up Sev and its worked hasn't it?**_

_**The Wizarding world being as small as it is, you have undoubtedly heard of my engagement to James. And you are obviously enraged that I would betray you and marry your mortal enemy. But please I beg you not to destroy this letter, and hear me out. It is now just over three months away from the big day.**_

_**James feels guilty over what has happened between us, he has been so supportive to me these last few months when I cried for you he was always there. And I cried for you a lot Sev. He has become my best friend, but he will never be anything more than that to me he will never be the love of my life. James has always liked me and I have been forced into a corner, which is why ive agreed to marry him.**_

_**You could help me out of this corner though. Sev that night when I asked you to meet me I was going to tell you I had just found out I was pregnant. I'm having your child. But after two weeks of you ignoring all my attempts to talk to you I was scared so I performed the pausien charm on our unborn child. Its an ancient charm that allows a mother to temporarily pause her pregnancy for up to twenty four weeks I was so distraught and scared that I didn't know what else to do. Next week is my twenty fourth week and I can't even think of having a baby on my own. A baby that will cause me more pain as it is going to be a constant reminder of what I've lost with you. But I know I don't want to get rid of it, I can't kill something we have created.**_

_**James doesn't know Im pregnant. I don't want to marry him Sev I want to grow old with you. You're my soul mate and I still love you. But I can't raise a kid on my own. It wouldn't be fair on my son to grow up without a father. Yes son, Im having a boy. The pausien charm also reveals the sex of the baby. Sebastian Tobias Snape will be born at the end of July next year.**_

_**Please Sev come get us before my Wedding day. One word from you and I'll call the whole thing off, I need to know you still care. We can be a family. If you haven't contacted me before my wedding day I'll get the point and never darken your doorstep. You'll never hear from me or our boy ever again, he will be brought up as a Potter, and with a simple glamour he will look like James' and no one will ever know.**_

_**I'm waiting for you my love.**_

_**Yours always Lily Evans**_

Harry felt numb.

'Sebastian Tobias Snape. Who the hell was that? It definitely wasn't him that's for sure he was Harry James Potter son of the infamous marauder James Potter, Prongs, Head Boy and Quidditch Captain not some greasy git of a potion master. This was some kind of a cruel joke it had to be.'

Harry immediately jumped up and rushed over to his trunk pulling his wand from it thirty seconds later he made his way back to the wardrobe and stood in front of the mirror that was attached to the inside of the door.

He had to prove it wasn't real. Screw the ministry and their stupid underage magic restrictions. This was serious. Plus if the house really were unplotable they would never know.

He pointed his wand straight at his face and stared into his bright green eyes. "Finite incantum".

The effect was immediate his fingers began to lengthen. Harry let his wand fall to the floor as he turned his hands over and over again watching them morph into a more slender shape.

He felt his t-shirt tighten slightly as he shoulders broadened. He looked back up into his still green eyes, which had changed shape so they now slanted slightly. His eyebrows now arched in a very Snape manner and his cheekbones and jaw line were now clearly defined. His raven black hair lay flat and his nose had lengthened slightly but wasn't hooked. Blimey even his ears were different he noticed as he turned his head to inspect his nose. They were pointed at the tips slightly.

He still looked rough even though his shoulders were broader he was still obviously underweight, his eyes tired, one cut and bruised curtsey of his uncle and he was still ghastly pale except for the sunburn which was as vivid as ever.

Harry wanted to scream, smash something, run. His world as he knew it was tumbling around his ears. Sirius had died for nothing. For the son of the man he despised. Harry was disgusted with himself. His dad and godfather had died protecting a Death Eaters child. Sirius would hate Harry if he saw him like this, as would Remus.

Remus. It would break his heart finding out that Harry was not his best friends son. He would feel as though he'd lost the little part of James he had left. Harry couldn't do that to him. He couldn't take that away from him. Especially not so soon after Sirius' death.

And suddenly it made sense. The reason pain and destruction seemed to follow him wherever he went. He was being punished for his _father's_ sins. He had to leave. He had to go before anyone else suffered because of him. Screw Dumbledore's prophecy. He couldn't cause any more heartache.

Fifteen minutes later Harry was creeping down the stairs. Dressed in some of his muggle clothes he carried with him a rucksack containing clothes, the letter, a knife he had found in Sirius' desk draw, a few small white gold goblets and some jewellery he found in one of the rooms besides Sirius'. It all belonged to him now so he wasn't stealing; he needed something valuable to sell in the muggle world. And in his hands were his invisibility cloak and a folded piece of parchment that had a single sentence scrawled on the inside.

_**Remus Im sorry, for everything. Harry.**_

He had left his wand, and all his magical possessions except his cloak. He no longer needed them after all he wasn't planning on returning to the wizarding world.

Harry paused at the kitchen door as he heard the distinctive voices of Lupin and Tonks.

"I just don't know what to do Tonks, I don't want to loose my temper with him, it's obvious Sirius' death has hit him harder than I'd anticipated but I can't handle him blaming me."

"Remus, Harry knows it wasn't in any way your fault he was just angry he had to return here, but Dumbledore was right to make you bring him here instead of the burrow if it isn't addressed head on things will only get worse".

'So that was why Hermione and Ron wouldn't be coming here, Dumbledore wanted Harry to deal with his grief, oh well it didn't matter now' Harry thought to himself as he leant closer to the door pressing his ear against it, hearing Lupin sigh.

"What do you think I should do? I love Harry as much as Sirius did; I was there outside the room with Sirius when he was born. It broke my heart that I couldn't say goodbye to him that night he was given to his aunt and uncle, it was a full moon you see and by the time I had transformed back and woken up, it was too late".

"I know Remus, just talk to him, let him know you're there for him. I think Sirius' death has hit him so hard because even though his life has been tainted with death, no worse, murder. This is the first time he has been old enough to understand and remember his love for the victim."

Outside the kitchen Harry had heard enough, a lump was rising in his throat but he knew Remus wouldn't feel the same if he knew Harry wasn't James Potters boy. He pressed the parchment against the wooden door, which thankfully stuck, and silently Harry pulled his invisibility cloak over himself. He then made his way up to the front door, closing it as quietly as possible behind him. Pausing for a second to look up and down the deserted street, he ran.

**A/N Please review **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I did not create Harry Potter. I own nothing, except the stuff you don't recognize from the books.**

**Summary:My first ever attempt at a Severitus Challenge. Set just after the death of Sirius Black, doesn't really follow HBP or DH. Contains mild violence and swears. Rated 17.**

**Scars**

_**Chapter Four:**_

Severus Snape was in a very bad mood indeed. It had been six long weeks since the boy-who-lived ran away, and no-body had seen neither hind nor hair of the brat.

Of course Albus Dumbledore thought it absolutely de rigueurthat he, Severus Snape be the prime investigator in the whole affair. Why this was exactly was completely beyond him. Something to do with him being the only member of the Order emotionally detached enough to actually find the blasted boy.

Obviously the disappearance of the Chosen One had remained completely sub rosa. Only the Order was aware that he was gone. That of course would change in a fortnight if he weren't found, as he was due to return to school where hundreds would undoubtedly notice his absence. Thus plunging the wizarding world into a state of panic.

It had been established, within mere hours of the lycanthrope uncovering his disappearance, that Potter was no longer in the wizarding world. The foolish child had left behind his wand making it even more urgent to find him before the Dark Lord suspected he had gone. The werewolf and the oaf were becoming a liability. The half giant crying all over the place and the werewolf sinking into depression. So today he had decided that he would walk the streets of Muggle London by himself after placing a notice me not charm on himself as always.

He was walking down a busy high street, passing bustling shoppers without them even glancing at him. A man in a purple jacket thrust a free newspaper in front of Snape.

"London Lite?" He asked.

Snape sneered at the man before pushing past him.

'No, Potter wouldn't be here,' he thought to himself 'it's too out in the open' and so he turned right and made his way down a narrow side road full of narrow houses with no front gardens only steps that led right up to the front doors.

At the end of the road he turned sharply and made his way down an alley.

The alley wasn't as well kept as the road, plastic bags and glass bottles littered the gutter. He could see a cluster of hooded figures in the distance, and as he neared he realized that it was a group of teenage muggle boys. All of them in clothes that were much too big, with flat peak hats and hoods on.

'Why would they need their hoods up for Merlins' sake' it's the middle of August' Snape thought irritably as he walked towards them.

They were smoking and drinking alcohol 'Honestly they don't look a day older than sixteen, their parents ought to be ashamed, not to mention the muggle who sold them alcoholic beverages'.

A girl was with them. She pulled down the hood of the boy with a backpack on his back and stole his hat.

"Aw come on Jack, tell me how you got your battle scar," she cooed sickeningly.

"Get lost Stacey" Jack snapped obviously self-conscious of his scar.

"Yea get lost Stace, no one wants you here" Another boy commented.

They all laughed.

"Give me back my hat and go find some girls to talk to. Im sick of listening to you."

"Whatever. You're all a bunch of losers anyway. Especially you Jack. No one wants you do they? No family, no home and no real friends. How'd you feel?" Stacey slurred spitefully.

"If im such a loser Stace why the hell are you always tagging after me? '_Jack, tell me how you got your battle scar? Does it hurt Jackie? Can I touch it? You're a soldier Jack. Where'd you get your knife Jack?'_you're the pathetic one with no friends. You've got a house full to the brim of brothers and sisters. Yet none of them want to talk to you. Do they Stace?" Jack spat.

Snape was just passing the group now and saw the boy named Jack snatch his hat from her before turning his back on the group to come face to face with Snape himself.

Shock hit Severus as he studied the face. A face that was different, but the green eyes he was staring into were definitely familiar Snape saw the penny drop in 'Jacks' green eyes as realization hit him. Snape's eyes traveled from the familiar green ones to an all to distinctive lightning shaped scar on the boy's forehead.

He couldn't believe it. After weeks of searching for the brat here he was, right in front of him, a scowl etched onto his face, a bruise visible on his cheek and a cigarette hanging on his bottom lip.

The boy stuffed the hat back on his head, flicked his cigarette at Snape's feet and ran.

It took Snape a second to realize what had happened, and when he had, he snapped and ran after the boy. The boys in the alley had started yelling after 'Jack' to 'leg it'. Having the advantage of longer legs he had soon caught sight of 'Jack'.

They were running through a run down estate. Passing burnt out cars and shopping trolleys. The boy jumped a fence and was now running around the outside of the estate in the gardens.

'Jack' was still ahead of Severus, when he stopped. The potions master backed behind a corner and watched the boy. He looked around as if checking he'd defiantly lost Snape and then turned around to face what appeared to be a locked window of an abandoned flat.

'Jack' lifted the window open climbed through and shut it again behind him.

'Ah Mr. Potter, so that's where you've been hiding' Snape thought triumphantly before striding towards said window opening it extremely quietly and stepping through.

'Well this is grim' was Snape's first thought as he observed the room, which he had stepped into. Wallpaper was peeling off the walls, the carpet on the floor was filthy and there was a strong smell of damp.

Resisting the urge to crinkle his nose, the potions master moved stealthily further into the flat.

There were three doors leading from the hall. 'Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom' he thought. Only one door was open. He edged towards it and peered through the gap.

The boy was stood in the corner of the bedroom zipping up his rucksack. He glanced around the room as if he was making sure he hadn't left anything.

Snape stepped onto the threshold. "So glad you've packed Potter" his silky voice carried through the flat. Snape strode towards the boy who was stilled in shock, grabbed his upper arm and apparated away.

"Tell me 'Jack'-" Snape spoke as soon as the basement kitchen of Number 12 Grimauld Place came into focus. "How exactly did you get that remarkable scar that lies upon you forehead."

Shock was evident on the boy's false features. His knees buckled and the potions master tightened his grip on the boy's upper arm. His fury growing at an alarming rate. He had to calm his nerves, he knew.

"Well?" the older man continued. "I do not doubt it is a thrilling tale. One, which, in your arrogance and egotism, you undoubtedly will be able to give justice" the cold harsh whisper that carried across the kitchen.

The boy said nothing but just hung there one arm in the air from where the potions master was still holding it, and his mouth open.

"Im waiting 'Jack'" said Snape before he began to shake the boy, for 'Jack' seemed frozen in shock and even horror was clearly evident in his green eyes.

Suddenly 'Jack' began to violently struggle against Snape's pincer-like grip and shout.

"Lemme go, If you don't- If you ke- Im gonna- GET OFF OF ME!"

He punched scratched and kicked every part of the man he could reach but Snape held him at arms length and 'Jack' started to howl out of pure frustration as he continued his tirade of physical abuse.

"Oh do shut up Potter" Snape snapped as he pushed the screaming child away from him and made his way to where the fire whiskey lived, in the tall cabinet that stood in the far corner of the dark dank room.

"Potter" the boy repeated and he stopped mid step from running head long at the man, his head snapped up to Snape, eyes narrowed. Composure seemed to have finally come to him.

"I dunno who you are old man, or what the hell you just did but you take me back now" 'Jack' spoke in a determined voice. Snape summoned a crystal glass.

"Sit" Snape ordered in a cold harsh whisper and 'Jack' fell onto a sofa behind him. "The game is up you insolent brat. Do you think you can fool me with your stupid game? You've had the whole order looking for you for six weeks-"

"Who are you calling a _brat_?" 'Jack' interrupted loudly.

"I wonder_._" Snape snarled before he downed a glass of fire whiskey and poured himself another. "This little ruse is finished. Your acting skills are so pitiful that I knew for certain you weren't a muggle a mere thirty seconds after we apparated into this kitchen. You have shown no discomfort of the use of magic in your presence."

"Fuck this you're a fucking head case-"

"We examined your wand _boy._" Snape continued as though there had been no interruption. "We know you performed a glamour before you left. Foolishly on our behalf we assumed you had cast the spell to hide your scar."

Snape reached out, knocked the hat off his head and extended a long pale index finger. Roughly he touched said scar on the boy's forehead, pushing hard enough that his head swung back. Then took a swig from his glass of fire whiskey.

"I should have known you wouldn't want to be rid of the cicatrix that tells the world of your fame. Your arrogance astounds me. Even in comparison of that of the pathetic man who fathered you."

"You know fuck all about me, old man" 'Jack' stood up and started towards the door.

"No, _Potter_. I think you'll find I know more about you than you'll ever be aware."

"How many times. I am _not _HARRY BLOODY JAMES POTTER."

"I don't remember calling you Harry James. _Harry_" a gleam of triumph was clearly evident in his cold obsidian eyes. "Now get to bed, I have to inform the Headmaster, lycanthrope, and oaf of your return _home_" Snape hissed.

Harry recovered from his slip quickly. He narrowed his eyes and turned on his heal. Instead of hurrying out of the door into the hall. He rushed at the fireplace and made a grab at the box of floo powder.

But Snape was too quick for him. He grabbed the boy in a pincer like grip above his elbow and dragged him from the room. Up the stairs to the room he shared with Weasley. "You will. For once in your life. Do as you are told Potter" Snape threw Harry bodily into the room, slammed and warded the door behind him, before he made his way back to the basement kitchen to floo the headmaster.

**A/N Please Review**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I did not create Harry Potter. I own nothing, except the stuff you don't recognize from the books.**

**Summary:My first ever attempt at a Severitus Challenge. Set just after the death of Sirius Black, doesn't really follow HBP or DH. Contains mild violence and swears. Rated 17.**

**Scars**

_**Chapter Five:**_

1979

Word amongst witches was, that if you found yourself in a _situation_ the only place to go was 205 Knockturn Alley.

Of course the male population of the wizarding world were completely ignorant of this dirty little secret shared amongst women. This unheard of truth, spoke only in hushed voices in dark corners or whispers in empty chambers.

205 Knockturn Alley was occupied by an ancient witch who went by the name of Ms Vera Drake. A spinster who had seen many desperate young girls cross her threshold.

Young unmarried purebloods, ambitious career hungry and the just plain foolish. But never had she met one that was as heartbroken as the pretty girl who sat in front of her now. Tears streaming down her cheeks into the untouched tea that was clutched between her hands.

"Now dear, how can I help you exactly?"

"I have nowhere else to go" the girl sobbed. "I have no one to turn to…. Im pregnant."

"Ah yes and the father?" the old lady inquired setting her own cup down.

"It's complicated… He doesn't know… We not married see… actually I don't think we're even still together-" She broke off with a violent sob and set her tea cup down on the small coffee table.

"Hush child I of course will help you rid yourself of this problem, one potion this afternoon and you will be…. Lets say relieved of this unfortunate little_situation_" Ms Drake said in what she thought was a reassuring voice.

"An abortion…?" Lily questioned shocked to the core.

"That is indeed the muggle terminology-"

"No! No no no you misunderstand me ma'am." Lily shook her head to emphasize the point. "I couldn't kill my baby… No I cant… no-" Tears were streaming down her face again and the old lady took pity on her. As a general rule she didn't usually offer this solution to the foolish witches whom found themselves in her presence begging for a solution, maybe it was the way this girl was cradling her stomach that made her different from the others she didn't know, but in any case she would help her.

"There is a charm," She began handing Lily a silk handkerchief.

"A charm like no other. You will not find it in any book, in any library, in any country in the world, for it has been past down through generations of witches who have provided this service. The service of helping women in anyway they can until they are ready for motherhood."

Ms Drake paused to sip her tea and indicated that Lily should do the same. Satisfied she continued.

"In so many circumstances women are so ready to _abort,_as you say. That this particular charm is not given as an option, it has been so long since it has been used that it has almost died out. Few like yourself just need time to come to terms with the fact they will become a parent, I believe you just need time to sort your affairs in order. This charm is called The Pausien Charm. It is a very complex branch of magic that requires immense skill and concentration. The Charm allows for the pregnancy to be paused for up to 24 weeks. That is six months. In those six months your child will not grow or develop in any way it will merely exist as it is now. Once those 24 weeks are up the charm will dissolve, you will be six weeks pregnant as you are now and you will be given your due date. It is possible to end the charm before the 24-week period this will cause you a little discomfort but not much, we will cross this bridge if we shall ever come to it. Six months should be enough time for you to talk to the father. The process of applying the charm will reveal to you the sex of you baby and it has also been known to increase the infant's magical abilities. Before we begin I must examine you."

The old lady gestured towards a bed in the far corner where Lily went to lay down.

She placed her wand on top of Lily's abdomen and began to mutter a long string of Latin words Lily could not decipher. Two globes of light one the purest silver the other purest gold rose from Lily's stomach as she felt a cooling sensation rise through her midriff. Lily raised her gaze to meet the old lady's and saw a triumphant glint present there. But it was only present for a second and then it was gone and the woman was silent as she stared at the globes of light. Lily wondered if she had imagined the strange glint.

"What does it mean?" Lily asked finally finding her voice.

"Child, this charm carries a risk, if you wish to proceed with it I shall have to insist that I alone am your midwife when the time comes. And that no other healers be present at the birth of this child is that clear?" Ms Drake spoke as though she had not heard Lily.

Cold panic spread through Lily's veins "What kind of risks?" She asked

"None that I cannot deal with I assure you." Ms Drake answered in a calming tone "Now do you agree to my terms?"

"The risks…?"

"Humph" the woman's face quickly changed from a reassuring smile to one of complete annoyance.

"I'm sorry" Lily started tearfully "I just don't know what to do, I don't want to hurt my baby in any way … I'm just not ready to be a mum…especially not on my own…I have no money, no home and with this war…how can I protect a baby myself? How can I work enough hours with no one to look after the baby? The father won't even look at me."

"Girl this charm will give you six months, to make amends with the father, find yourself a home a job or even a new father for your baby" Ms Drake snapped.

Lily gasped "I couldn't-"

"Why did you come here Miss Evans?"

The atmosphere in the room had suddenly changed since her examination; the room was no longer cosy and homely but breezy and cold.

"I-I had nowhere else to go… I was told you helped girls like me…" Lily stammered.

"I can only help those who wish to be helped dear, you do not seem very receptive to my proposition"

"Its not that, its just I don't want to risk this child's life unnecessarily" Lily replied shrilly.

"You said it yourself Miss Evans there is a war going on. How will you protect this child on your own in the current climate? You need someone to help you. I assure you the positives in this case out weigh the risks, and if you ensure that it is I who monitors your pregnancy and not some pitiful _healer _from St. Mungos, they are near nonexistent. Now do you accept my terms?"

They were quiet for a long time, the only sound being the harsh battering of the rain against the windows and the distant whistle of the strong wind.

"Yes" Lily whispered but her eyes were still uncertain, really she had no choice but to accept. But she would make Sev listen to her and then everything would be all right. He would quench her uncertainty. He would fold his strong arms around her and tuck her head under his chin. He would keep her warm. He would protect her and their baby from everything.

"But what do they mean" She asked in a slightly stronger voice pointing to the globes of light.

"They show us that you will have a son," The old lady answered and drawing her wand over Lily's belly once more she said, "Now lay still, we must begin."

**A/N Please review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I did not create Harry Potter. I own nothing, except the stuff you don't recognize from the books.**

**Summary:My first ever attempt at a Severitus Challenge. Set just after the death of Sirius Black, doesn't really follow HBP or DH. Contains mild violence and swears. Rated 17.**

**Scars**

_**Chapter Six:**_

"Bastard" Harry muttered as he picked himself up off the floor.

"Fucking WANKER" He shouted as he heard the lock click and ran towards the door.

"CUNT" he roared as the door handle gave him a short sharp electric shock.

Fuming Harry turned around and threw the old wooden rickety desk chair across the room. Satisfyingly it broke and its legs rolled across the floor.  
>Not satisfyingly enough though, Harry picked up the nearest chair leg and began to smash everything in sight.<p>

The candle holders on the walls.

The window.

The mirror above the desk.

All the oddments atop the desk.

He pulled out the desk draws and threw them at the door.

Sweat mingled with tears as he heaved at the heavy desk pulling it away from the wall. He wedged himself in the gap inbetween his back against the wall he placed his feet on the top rim of the desk and pushed, hard. He landed on his shoulder when it fell.  
>Glass from the mirror cut into his skin but his anger was still not satisfied. it was like a thirst, dry and raw- it needed to be quenched.<p>

He sat up surrounded by shards of glass, the desk lying infront of him. Desperately he picked up a big piece of glass and ran the edge across his palm. It was immediate.  
>The release. It was as though all the tension and anger was draining out of him. He watched the blood flow out of his hand and down his arm like streams of crimson water it calmed him.<p>

He slumped against the wall listening to the thumping of his heart as it slowed.

**A/N Please review**


End file.
